Day Five- Compose a thankyou letter to someone who changed your life

It really does blow my mind how many relationships i have been blessed with in the part, present, and hopefully future of my life. God has place in me a talent to really get to know people, to connect with them. I praise him everyday for people he has put in my life to my family to California i praise God for all the amazing people he placed in my life. The best of friend i have and i know that is not normal in everyone's lives. As much as its not normal for a girl to have billions of friends i realize with out each individual i wouldn't be who i am today. Thank you guys for being such an undeserved gift!

This thank you letter is for someone i don't always acknowledge and i really should. My best friend and the person who holds me up a lot of the time. This thank you is to Kyle Holcomb.

To Kyle:
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Thank you for teaching me what love really is
Thank you for the princess crown on my bday and all the wonderful presents i could have never dreamed of recieving
Thank you for being trustworthy
Thank you for those late night talks about the moon and crazy days
Thank you for teaching me about gods love.
Thank you for being a spiritual leader
Thank you for all those times you prayed for me
Thank you for listening
Thank you for sharing your family with me
Thank you for being loyal
Thank you for laughing with me and at me
Thank you for embarrassing me at the airport its a memory i will never forget
Thank you for letting me jump on your bed and eat the late night kfc biscuits
Thank you for loving me despite my love for gilmore girls and dutch brothers
Thank you for referencing harry potter just at the right time.. i am not alone.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart and in the words of jack johnson its always better when we together

Day four- write what you imagine paradise to be.

Full..

Full of happiness
Full of peace
Full of music
Full of dutch bros coffee
Full of sunlight and nature
Full of GOD
Full of kindness and encouragement
Full of oceans
Full of laughter
Full of purpose
Full of contentment and a life well lived
Full of gratitude!

RIP jeff

A year ago today i heard the news.. one of bend finest killed in a drunk driving accident. He was the driver... he was not normally the type to drink and drive but one mistake and it lead to his death. after a long grueling hospital stay he passed away a year ago. He left behind and amazing family including a 12 year old sister that looked up to him, a beautiful girlfriend who still hurts today, and a group of friend that will always remember him and now hold it in there hearts that life is short and one mistake is all it takes. Today i want to remember him. Remember his life and how full and rich it was. Remember that life is short and we must live it to its fullest. Also we can waste time. Time is limited. How are we living out life? That is at least what jeff's death taught me while i was on my field.


Here is a letter his 12 year old sis wrote to him after he died....
Jeff was a amazing person, an amazing brother to me. I can never get over the fact that hes gone so many words I can say to describe him. He was always the person I could look up to, now to look up to him I look up to the sky. May-26-2009 was the worst day of my life I always repeat in my head my mom telling me that hes not going to make it. Every single day I think about him, the way he talked, the way looked. Why did he have to leave? Ive never experienced losing someone and if I did I never thought I would lose him. He always picked me up and spinned me and I would laugh and laugh..The weekend before he died he did it one last time and got as many hugs out of me as possible. My heart feels like its not in me anymore like it dosent beat or anything its justs gone. We were really close for a brother and sister I always loved seeing him walk through the door when he would visit and it hurts to know he never will again. Nobody will never know how I feel Jeff was so different from everyone else so important to me. I still cant believe im getting through everyday without breaking down. But jeff would get mad to see me crying all the time he would do whatever to get me to smile. I wish i would of told him everything possible to say and mostly that "I love him"I know i have a guardian angel no doubt about it.When I think about him and how great he was I smile. Im am living for myself of course but Im mostly living for Jeffry because he dosent get to anymore. I am going to live my life the way Jeff would of wanted me to. I will never be okay but in Jeffs sake I will try to be:)

Lets try and live life to the fullest. Memorial on Saturday and sawyer park.. bring a balloon and write a message to Jeff in heaven on it. Drunk driving is serious. Life is short.

Day three- List the 5 songs you would have with you on a desert island

First off let me add that this is super hard to figure out cause i love so much music and i am a very indecisive person. I hate playing favorites and i hate confining myself. I think this list is so hard because why do i have to just choose 5? Also i love music and all genres of music so its makes it difficult. After much consideration and this prob could be altered here is my list...

1.memphis will be laid- Norma Jean
2.Bass Hunter - all i ever wanted
3.Jack Johnson- better together
4.Black eyed peas- i gota feeling
5.Dear whoever - tears of ashes

I pick all these not cause they are the best songs ever but they all have very fond memories! <3

Day two- Post something that inspires you

Im not alone..

"If i was he who must not be named i would want you to feel very alone"

How can you be surrounded and loved by a sea of people and feel so alone!? That's how i have been feeling lately. Its like i doubt that the people that love me do. This i realized this past weekend is exactly what Satan wants. He wants me to feel alone its when i am at my weekest. ha So in nerd reference Satan is lord voldamort and he wants me (harry potter) ha to feel so alone like i dont have friends. But i feel sorry for satan he will never experience love or friendship or fellowship and with all these things we conquer the world as Christians. We win! We are better then Satan!! Praise the lord for friends and the amazing harry potter reference i got this weekend lol.

Day one - Describe your guilty pleasures..

So along with my regular blogging i have decided to take on a blogging challenge. A whole month of blogging every day about the topic chosen. Todays topic is describe you guitly pleasures so here i go <3


*Gilmore girls ( i could watch this show for hours
*Nutella with peanut butter on a tortilla
*Keshas new album it makes me dance
*Driving with the windows down heater up and stereo full blast
*Love spell body lotion and spray
* Tan lines
* battle wounds from skating
* Face book photo comments/ wall posts
* free things
*buying shirts i have far to many of them
* editing/admiring photos
* laying in the sun reading a good book
* Starbucks passion tea
*Glamour magazine
*cliff bars for breakfast
* donkey kong

upon this rock...

Man this weekend was ten times amazing... it was a mix of tie dying, photo taking, friendships,fellowship, amazing worship, amazing lessons, and dutch bros. Plenty of laughing and messing around and also plenty of crying and sacrificing to God. God taught me so much this weekend it was insane.

First off i loved seeing my two family's the two groups of people that mean the most to me California and my real blood family come together. They interacted and loved on each other like it was nothing and that was a huge encouragement in my own. God showed me how freaking blessed i am to have both families. With out God i would be no one. I have made a impact because of God. Because i let him control my life i have all these amazing friends and family that i could never trade for the world. These people have captured my heart and i see God in them so much and this weekend i got to enjoy all of them together. Talk about blessing. I praised God for them one night. Because not only has he used me to make a impact they have impacted me. Through there service and love. Through standing through there struggles through prayer they always build me up and most the time they dont even know it. This weekend it was a blessing to get to fellowship with some of the most amazing people i know. Thanks to god for Familys of all sort and love and connection that binds us together in him.
These are some of the few people i got to spend my times with..<3












Second isnt it amazing to experiance Gods creations. I got to take some amazing photos of smith rocks. Its amazing that just through his creation you can worship him. Like i look at creation and think man my God is good. As i was taking pics of GIANT gorgous rocks i stated thinking that Christ is my rock... God is so amazing. He keeps me strong and hold me up. The rock of my salvation.


Third i have realized that God.. even though it feels like it at times has not abandoned me!!! He is there he is setting my footsteps in place he has a plan for me and i need to start acting like i believe he can do things!!! Do i believe he has a will for me!? YES!

Fourth and definatly not last but the last point i will make here is that i have a mission here in redmond while i am here as well. I look at the two girls that i have been working working with and see so much potential in them. I know they are growing and studying and wanting more. They sit there and just read the bible and it amazes me cause they are so gorouges and could be doing so much more then that. They invite friends and they love on them. They love eachother and bond to make the sister connection like we should have in the church. They need a leader and i know God for now has called me to be there leader.. also there is so many opportunitys here to bring people to christ and god really opened my eyes to them. Gota love it
"Do what you can where you are with what you have!" Teddy Roosevelt

Thank you God for the amazing weekend. Now back to job hunting :)

Content

So last night we had an amazing lightening storm. As i stared out the window i could see lightening and in the sky right next to the lightening i saw the moon. I thought how completely amazing. So i dont know why all these cool ideas come to me while looking at the sky and observing Gods creation but they do. Right now Ive decided i am pretty content for the next month at so with where god put me. I mean i know he will provide a job if he wants me to have one and right now i can enjoy this time with my family and the time where i have so many possibility and should love the chances for all new adventures. Im growing up but i need to be content with all the options God has given me and truly have Hope he will come through for me. I also need to be ready to jump at any chance he gives me.. Which could be something crazy and scary. Im ready for the challenge. As much as id love to stay the immature little rocker girl i have to grow up sometime. So right now i am going to enjoy every minute i have here in oregon to the hilt. Im gunna love reading library books with pay and cuddling to our favorite story. Im gunna love mine and kourts crazy adventures to dutch bros and whatever else we can do to get into trouble. Im gunna love having my mom near me and having girls nights and talking about everything. She is who got me to were i am. she is the reason ive suceded so much. Im gunna love the sunshine and floating the river. The lightening storms and the amazing chance for photography here. Im gunna love having coffee with my old friends and bible studys. Im gunna love going to shows and seeing all the people ive missed for so many years. Im gunna love spending time with my little brothers and sisters. I gota love life and be content and then god will show me where to go next. Life is a grand adventure!..

"Do what you can, Where you are, With what you have:- Teddy roosevelt

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Later news ive seen this wonderful blog idea and i will be a bit behind but id love to start it.. Its something new each day to blog about and its truly about finding yourself and even thought i wasnt invted to take the challenge i truly think i will sounds fun :)

I am job hunting at the moment. 30 resumes/apps later blah.

I get to see my AMAZING cali girls and second dad this weekend totally stoked. 200 pics to come <3

Missing some very important people in my life tonight.. i wish i could fly to them.

Love list

Today i love...

1. The sunshine! Brings me happiness.
2. The fact i am confident in Christ.
3. I get to put on fresh clean smelling cloths from the dryer today <3
4. I get to hang out with hands for God team today.
5.Im up early enough to with paityn a wonderful day at school.
6. Celebrated Kyle Holcombs 22nd yesterday and got to give him the coolest present i have ever made.. which he loves <3
7.Red bull with flavoring is so genious.
8.The fact that there is a good show tonight with good music and people and then i can come home and watch my fav show.

Aw Life is good..

In other news...
Still looking for a job... Job hunting hardcore tomorrow once again :)
Planning on staying in central Oregon for the summer. Should be fun
I need to get my junker car fixed but for now have no money!!

Happy Mothers day!!

Today is a day to celebrate moms.. now let me tell you.. my mom she is the freaking best!! Today mom i celebrate you.




<3 To the person who always was my biggest fan no matter what i wanted to do in my life.. through my little rocker stage.. to my photography stage.. to my missionary stage shes always been my number one cheer leader!

<3 ever since i have known her my mom has look age 29 young and beautiful! Thank god for the hope i have that i will forever stay young looking if i get her genes :) Everyone always says my mom is soo gorgeous.

<3 She has the most amazing and loud laugh i know but she always brings the happiness into the room

<3 I have seen her be strong and give up so much.. completely selfless. She has taught me to be humble and a servant. She has always been my strong hold.

<3 She makes the best Italian food ever.. what can i say we have Italian in our blood!

<3 Shes the only person who will sit down and watch chick flicks and eat Chinese with me on a Wednesday night :)

<3 She fights for what she wants.. and fights for whats best for her kids.

<3 I love how girly and adorable she is.. and the fact she has 3 tom boy girls.. she never got her girly girl though.. shes trying so hard with pay

<3 I love how she always as if i wish me and her were like the mom and daughter off of gilmore girls and i just laugh cause we pretty much are. We talk about everything

<3 Tis true as you get older you relize why your mom disciplined and gave the advice she did.

<3 Shes my hero. Always has been from the day she put an amazing barbie band aid on my first cut shes been the biggest super hero i have has since.

<3 She is a pro decorater and can turn the ugliest things into works of art. Ive learned all my art skills and artsy talents from her <3

<3 She wants me to pursue my passion and that is a big deal to have such great support.

<3 Shes always gave us the best.... even if it ment she got the bad end of the deal..like she would buy us hip new cloths and she would sacrifice and stay in her old ones.. I learned that its not about what you have.. its truly about how happy you are in life and what you appreciate.. not to mention i got a mad since of good style and vintage style :)

<3 Ill never forgot all the heart ache she has helped me through.. when your young and in
love and you get your heart broken i have learned moms are always the best person to confide.. my mom has the confidence like none other and its who i strive to be like.

<3 I love every little thing about her and am so blessed to call her my mother. I was formed in her womb by god.. and he has set a special connection with us forever. Thank you god for my mama! Shes the best blessing in my life <3

Love you mom

Spring is in the air!!

What i love about spring....

Just let go!

Everyone has talents. We are each blessed with amazing things we can do. Some people are good at art. Some at teaching. Some at music. Some mentoring. Some at mechanics. Some at photography.Some at writing. Some at sharing. Some at servant hood. The list goes one.. Whats you talent? I think we truly need to embrace it. You cant get rid of it its your talent.

"And it is he who gifted some to be apostles, others to be prophets, others to be evangelists, and still others to be pastors and teachers," Eph 4:11

Last night i went to a hand for God show.For those of you who don't know hands for God is a drama/puppet team who steps out and share the word with the world. They take a step and they are just high schoolers. I use to be part of the first hands for Gods team and it was there i realized i had a passion and talent for ministry. God really opened my eyes to the hurting world on that team. So i went on to get a degree in missions through AIM which was the most amazing experience of my life! But what do you do next?! After you have the degree?!

I looked around at the kids performing there dramas with all there hearts. One really struck me.. it was a song let go by red... in the scene they have Satan telling the girl to let go of God. I feel like since i have left Aim that is what Satans been telling me. LET GO! Hes not doing anything for you he took cali away from you.. i realized and praised God that i have held on for so long. He has big plans :) These kids know he has a plan for them.. how could i forget he had one for me?? I stood there watching and a tear fell from my eyes when i began to remember my hurting Cali people. All the people God has sired on my heart. They will always be there.. my youth.. my girls.. my homeless guys.. and my second family there...Ministry is what i was made for. Its what makes me happy. Its my passion. Its what i am good at. I don't have it all together but God has told me hey you have a calling.. its kinda still like what is next?! Ok done babbling ha..




I want to give a special thanks and encouragement to the Hands for God team while i can on here and while they are on my heart. I was on the first team and they have come a long way since then. I want to thank those kids for taking such a big stand. I know how hard it is and to see them jump at the chance to share. To stand there not afraid and shout it at the top of there lungs that they are Gods children. They literally scream God is alive with there lives and there actions. Watching them perform you can just see Christ in there attitude. The Girls smile and you see Christ in the smiles. The guys belt out and speak scripture and you can feel his power! Aw its soo inspiring. They work so hard and barly get any credit but God cheering them on and that is all they need. There director is ten times amazing. She is beautiful inside and out. She is what saved me plenty of times and brought me back to level with God. She is a mom to every single one of them and loves them all for who they are. She knows she was called from God and pushes on even though shes had man obstacles to go over. She is ultimately my hero. This team is making a bigger stand then most of our youth groups and church's today. They are making a bigger impact then they even know. Guys i want to tell you hand for god team cherish your time. Open your eyes to God. He will show you greatness. The first time i opened my eyes to him on the team i was ministering to a homeless man. He was drunk and drugged out and prob wont even remember a word i was saying but ill never forget the lostness in his eyes. After he left i broke down. God showed me how hurt this world was and we started praying for him and he walks over and just takes mine and Jordon hands and starts praying with us.. i had a revelation of seeing people through Christ's eyes. I know God has that opportunity for all of you to experience while you on the team this summer. Open your eyes. Lean on each other let me tell you its so worth it. Dont LET GO. Keep Focused. I know it sucks sometimes but you all are doing an amazing Job. Man God is working through you and im so proud of you guys. You guys have some amazing power do not fear.. he is with you.. and we are all praying for you. I know this isn't much but as an ex puppeteer or however you would say, this specific team has inspired me. I just got out of missionary school and have been lost at what to do next for months. I wanted to give up so bad and let go. Watching you guys perform with such compassion, love, and strength in each other Gave me hope. Made me realize my purpose. You guys showed a sister Christ and i thank you for that. You guys.. are my heroes as well. Never forget you guys are peoples HEROS!! Gods heros to.. for showing his love to the world. Now get out there the world is your stage and you got a special message that the world needs. You guys got a strength like i haven't seen. :) Use it. I love you guys.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 tim 4:12
- From one missionary to the team of young missionarys take it to heart.

Dont worry.. Be happy

"don’t wait for tomorrow. don’t wait for the right job, the right house, the right salary, the right dress size. be happy today. be happy now… one thing I know for certain: the time we have here goes by far too quickly. don’t waste any more time sitting on the bench watching life pass you by.” -joseph b. wirthlin

Star Gazing..

Isnt Gods creation amazing. The other night i was feeling really super alone and all i did was look out the window and there was the HUGE moon. Omg so beautiful with all the stars surrounding it. Why would a God so amazing want to use me and want me? I had a break down that night and a revelation that God is so good and he is the ultimate source of a happy life. That night God showed me all i need is him.Reeses. and an amazingly full moon to keep my company. The ultimate source of happiness.. :)