Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Today ive realized i have a lot on my plate and its really starting to stress me out. Sitting on my laptop reading blogs today i realized how lost i am. All my friends are almost graduating college and going to move on with the degrees when all i have is a Bible degree that in this time in age isn't getting me far at all. This month has so far been full of trials. From a friend dieing, getting my hours cut at work, feeling lost when i think about my future, my car needing fixed, and trying to get over a breakup when i loved the guy for 2 years its been rough none the least.
Sometimes things are hard, just because they're hard.
not because of something i could have done differently or because i was in the wrong place at the wrong time.. just because it in itself is difficult.
It's days like today that get me super pumped for heaven.
I didn't have a particularly bad day today, just an average day.
A day like a million other days I've spent, living my life, day to day.
Because it's all I've ever known how to do.
I just can't wait for the fact that in heaven I won't ever wake up tired.
I won't ever have to fill out paper work and hope for financial aid.
I won't ever have to work, save money to buy things, or to even have to deal with the whole mess of money in general.
I won't ever have to say goodbye to the ones I care about. Just have continuous conversations.
I won't ever have to get sick, be late, or have to apologize for something I've done or haven't done.
I won't ever have to impress anyone or feel guilty about the things I'm not doing that I should be doing.
I won't ever judge anyone or look down upon those I subconsciously deem lesser than myself.
I won't ever get cold, get lost while driving somewhere, stutter because I talk way too fast, or have to do my hair.
I won't ever have to fool others into thinking I'm smart, cool, hip or whatever it is I'm trying to prove at one time or another.
I won't have to read about celebrities and deem the ridiculous things they do as a point of interest.
I won't have to just sit and wonder what in the world I'm supposed to do with my life. It will be done, I will have learned, I will be content, and I will be relieved.
I'll never have to be anywhere other than in the presence of God and do nothing but praise the crap outta Him.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
So i have been really down lately. As much as i wanted to live life and feel all good and alive again a lot has happened lately that made my life feel a little bit less then perfect. I feel like ive lost alot of friends latly and heard alot of things about the people i have surrounded myself with that are not good. Today however i have decided to cheer up and have the perfect day. I shouldn't let those things get me down..so today i went to church and had an amazing time singing and talking to old friends, then i went grocery shopping in which i was stoked to get some red bull for this upcoming week. After this i came home to eat some Delicious sweet potato fries. and now im curled up in my sweats and watching old audrey hepburn films and sketching <3 what a great Sunday!! :) Whats ahead this week? Turn in all my college fafsa apps. Call my insurances cause i qualified for Oregon health care woot woot! Watch my lovely boys all week and try and spend some time with some quality people. :) Ill tell you how it goes.